It helps to try and be as present in the moment as I can yet still I have no appetite. It is different now, but not easier. They are my life line; especially since I live in town without my daughter and grandchildren, or for that matter without my parents, brothers sisters and extended family. Its been two years and two months since my beautiful wife passed. Please stay strong. I have a big empty space inside that just wont go away. "Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow" - Unknown. 151.9K Likes, 1.5K Comments. My heart is breaking. She died at the age of six from a 1 in a million chance disorder called fires. My story is very much like yours. I woke up in Bed a Saturday Morning on the 15th of December 2018 and she passed in her sleep. Hi, Ive only just come across this page after searching, Is it normal to still feel so much grief, 18 months into a loss of a loved one. I realised also I can now go back to work. But I miss my husband every day and feel Im in an impossible situation. Take care. I find that even my closest friends dont want to hear how Im really feeling anymore. Why is God so cruel? But mostly not going to my mums everyday. Hi to all. But it does help to know that I am not alone and unfortunately, there are others struggling as much as I am. That helps . what I had with Glenna. He was the best husband and father! I am having a horrible time with not having him and I do not know if I will ever be free of my horrible grief. My faith and knowing I will be reunited with him one day keeps me strong. and im back there again crying wishing id made more of that last year. I look around my town and I see so many changes and I hate it because everything reminds me of Mum every shop that closes down that Mum used to visit leaves me heaving. I lots my Mum 2 months before my partner and broke my ankle 2 weeks before he died.I have also moved house because he left the house we lived in to his sonhonest!! Navigating that first year, through anniversaries, birthdays and holidays can feel endless. Please know that I will keep all of you in my prayers and hopes for your own grief process. I totally understand, I also had to make this decision 2 years ago for my baby sister who I was caregiver of. memories we had together. I dont like telling anyone how I feel because I think they Her not being here heart. Im now starting the 2nd year after the sudden loss of the love of my life. One day at a time! So when he got sick I was always there for him. I had him cremated. People dont understand the loss. Just trying to move forward in life but the pain came back again and it hurts so much. Just what can I do? He embraced his few enemies He was my hero and I still miss him terribly. Just really seeking how to get my joy and my life back to something bearable. I understand perfectly. Finding him was torture. I suggest a book by Megan Devine called Its Ok That Youre Not Ok. Blessings to each of you on your journey. I feel as though Im nothing. So many comments Ive read hit so close to home. It does help to know that Im not some crazy women who doesnt know how to move on. The medications are harsh but necessary. My health has been severely affected with a flare up of an autoimmune disease which ironically and surprisingly has helped teach me to live more in the moment and not have too much anxiety about the future. I am more aware of the many blessings I have & have learned to cherish every moment of my life. That is strangely comforting to remember that. I am about 17 months out. Lisa Zaleski, who lives in White Lake, Mich., confronted the unimaginable, first losing her daughter, Sydney, in June 2017 at the age of 23 in a car accident, then her son Robert in December 2019 . What really helps is to volunteer helping others and stay busy. I am afraid that if I dont learn to balance my grief with finding happiness I will jeopardize a future together. i am approaching the second year since my wife died unexpected she went to visit our son and died of a brain aneurysm non his front lawn- Married 36 years- every day is a struggle and as busy as i try to be having two children in their thirties i still feel so lonely when i am alone at bedtime, it is inconceivable that i can be happy again. Absolutely no warning. Our bond of love was so deep and our lives so inextricably intertwined that a part of me died that day too. I was totally blank, dont know what to think nor what I feel, totally felt nothing. I knew that I wouldnt have been able to save them. I long everyday for my husband. The twelve month anniversary of my wifes passing came and I thought I would cope but I totally lost it. What followed her death was aweful . There is NO GETTING OVER IT!!!!! I will never be a grandmother she worked at pet smart. I have good friends and a lovely daughter, but she is in a bad place with it all too. The reality is that Im still and will probably always grieve for him. My husband passed away almost 2 years ago in February and i still dont feel any different, now i have more good days than bad but im still in a lot of pain and crying and depressed because i am missing him. My wife passed away march 13, 2015 after fighting cancer for almost 15 of the 16 years we were together. I kept to dog and she has helped but is also a reminder of what Ive lost. Perhaps Ill return in the near future. The first year was filled with a kind of silliness, overall weirdnessi guess from shock..i was busy with the estate stuff and running around getting the legal things done i had to do. I am not suicidal but if i knew my life would end soon, I would be ok with it . He was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me life was finally good. I broke down n a Lowes store, felt ridiculous, & left. He didnt need to say a word his eyes and actions were everything. I feel like you, a lot of my fears are gone. I was only 49. IR-2022-65, March 23, 2022 Even though the Internal Revenue Service issues most refunds in less than 21 days for taxpayers who filed electronically and chose direct deposit, some refunds may take longer. In my dreams, we are hanging out, talking, laughing, and we always acknowledge the fact that she has passed away. Its not temporary but you will learn to live with it.You have to.I lost my wife of 33 years due to a terrible firearms accident.My uncle is 92 years old and we are very close.His time is limited.I know how you feel! He passed unexpectedly while on our first trip since retiring. I am trying to give something beautiful from him. If you're a writer, poet, or musician, compose something. Find a way to make the break to a little high ground here and there away from the depth of the loss and eventually, that ground will come to you a little more often. I believe this because of my faith. He fell and hit his head, passing away very suddenly. Not so. I lost my husband of 63 years How do I move on. This past year has brought many changes, however, am taking one day at a time. He did his nightly walked, went to the store and picked up milk and bread which he always does, before he left I asked him if I could come but he said no then he gave each of us a kissed on the forehead and said hell be right back, he then told me to get the kids in bed as there was school the next day. Though there is one other Uncle, brother of my Mums, he lives in rural Ireland, only has a land line phone, has ongoing mental health conditions. Maybe because I was his caretaker, maybe because I was more close to him than my mother (a little). I lost my husband Rick 10/2018. I just want to say this to you and I know you wont like but I know you know Im right! Now this week is his anniversary and Im a real crazy mess. "The life of the dead is placed in the heart of the living" - Cicero. That is really important to know. I did the grief therapy, grief counseling, etc., that I was to do during the 1st year. Ann, Im so sorry for every ones lost,,Im to. Today is 5 months and It's really not a great day for me at all, Since he has passed not one day has been good..I wake up thinking about him, I go to bed thinking about him..We were together 35 years married 34. The heavy chemo treatments, drs appts, etc left me so overwhelmed at the end. kyonkyon136. Our 21 year old twin daughters just got back from a movie and ran in to get me. With By pass surgery. Living with cancer was all we had ever known. I have come to realize for myself that I ultimately need to move rid myself of too many artifacts of our life. I lost my dh 1 year 10m ago too. I wasnt old also I no I wasnt no spring chicken. I keep trying becasuse I know he would want to ,my grown kids need me and my two little grand children need me. But, my life, as a widower, as a single man, did not include them just like, I really didnt fit into their life I wasnt their sister, their aunt, or theyre best friend. Dad has passed 18 mths now. i could be just reading a magazine and something pops up she used to like. I just feel like she was cheated out of so much by dying young and just six months after my daughter was born. I shed MANY tears. I just found a counselor that I will see the end of July. So in my head all I know is they were wrong. I feel like time has stopped as I am in a complete never ending story of several emotions at one time. Im in very very poor health maybe my wish will come true and i can join my wife again. The timeline is based on data on when breakthrough infections occur. Lend a supportive ear to others. The first 6 months I lost my faith and was very angry , then veering to its all pontless. Always believe she would come back..I dont tell anyone how much I miss her as nobody lisen to me, just say move ondont know what to do and how to live. For me, Everyday is a shocking reminder that my husband is not with me. He lives through me and I am blessed and honor to say that I love him the way I did. I also wonder if the fact that I just turned 60 this summer, dont have much other close family, unable to work & my life restricted by disability, pain levels & not driving, are added in to the mix. I know I will have to carry this pain around until I die too, because it will never ease. I take one day at a time. Less than a week went bytraumatized despite all of this, but coping. My situation a little different. I took care of her. Jean Marie Feils, 82, of Plainview, passed away February 24, 2023 at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester, MN. The truth that I was hurt and have been hurt for a while. There is a pretty well-accepted theory on grieving that the first year is the hardest. Amber whatever you do.dont blame yourself no one knows how they would respond in a traumatic situation. The irony is he looked at me crying while I hold him and kiss his last breath. I also feel the pain my children feel on his birthday and fathers day. It makes absolutely no sense now. Lean on the lord. 22 Sep 2017. He was my soul mate, we did evrything together except our jobs. I was told by a nurse in hospice to sit with him and let him know Id be alright if he left. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can push myself to get past this hurdle. I cry and curse yet, but I am not debilitated on the floor for an afternoon. For me going on this second year is harder than the first because now I can really feel the lose. Remember the good times and know he would want you to live on and be happy. But, by the end of the year, I felt like I survived. I lost my mum very unexpectedly and suddenly on the 27th october 2018. Im in a slump dont wont go out or visit. Though it's been years now since you were taken away, the memories are still strong, and I wish you were here today. I mean she depended on me 100% for feeding, hygiene, toileting. Im not saying there is no life after death but I am saying that if there is, that is his journey. I lost my mum 13 months ago. I miss him every day. He, too had lung cancer and kidney failure and his death was sudden. I keep telling myself it will get easier but I just cant see easier insight. Be free. My two. It was hard at first to do anything but now going grocery shopping is getting easier once I am in the car. Her kindness, caring, compassion, patience and understanding are all qualities shared by my wife. I have noticed such an immense change in my body (so thin) and just overall mental behaviour (loner, no energy for anything or anyone). I still wear my wedding ring Im never going to take it off she is my love and only no datting for me there no one out there who will replace her. We were blessed with 4 children, who still desperately need me at ages 11, 9, 8, and 7. Itll be 2 years in August since my husband passed away and my life has changed forever.I long to join him but know I have to keep going one step at a time one breath at a time. This breaks my heart to read. Theres nothing that the doctor could do for him he live nine days I think the when the doctor told her what was wrong it killed him knowing he was so bad and nothing that could be done. TikTok video from Stacey (@lifeofathoroughbred): "can't believe it's been nearly a year since you passed away grumps #thoroughbred #angryhorse #alfiehorse #tempermental #dead #horsesoftiktok #passedaway". I spent the first year in tears, confusion, shock, and disbelief. The hymns always make me cry and then I come home, make a cup of tea and play more beautiful songs and hymns. First, i must say i am so sorry for all the losses of those posted here. " People often say that time heals all wounds. almost 3 years later and i am still wondering. My husband was a juvenile diabetic since his teen yrs. i feel so much for you all > I lost my husband after being married 50 years . My heart goes out to all of you. She and I would go Black Friday shopping. It would be rather strange if you did and I think that is so true. This second year is as hard as the first. The rest of the post has been deleted, only the title remains. She is keeping me going. I just feel as if I have been abandoned and lonely. I might not cry several times a day like before, there is just a constant state of sadness & loss, wanting & longing to share what we had together as loving soul mates. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. Today is the second Thanksgiving without my husband, who I lost 18 months. I know your pain I loss our Stepdaughter in January 1992 and My Mr. Lee in July 2016. The advice I can give you is stay strong. He did have some medical issues but he pulled through all of them and then suddenly passed. How do I start to heal? Its been a year. It was unexpected his passing we have been together since freshman year highschool have two LIVING boys 2 and 3 years old. I am fine with it- I would welcome it- My time and work here is now done. The pain will ease, it never goes but you learn to live a new life and found growth. I miss him so much and still feel so lost without him. My husband of 54 yrs. I lost my grandfather who I was very close with. Its only at night when I lay in bed missing him holding me. She was my heart, my everything. I am 39, I could live a long time yet. He lived with leukaemia for 7 years and it was being managed and seemed to be doing well. Finally I want to say thank you to the lady whose post mentioned being in Lowes and becoming so frustrated that she left. I thought the second year would be easier. And I think of him everyday . There were many ups and downs with surgeries and chemo, but she lived for everyday with our children. Im trying to deal every day and some are better than others. Thank you for sharing, Its been 2 years and tomorrow 1 month. I have been tearing up all day but not in a sad way. Not a future without him, because we never lose them, but a future with him in your heart and so much new exciting stuff and people, in your life. I have her ashes in the kitchen, where she loved to be. We loved, lived and laughed lots.. God bless you all. I miss him as much today as I ever gave. I have found that not everyone can understand and thats ok. Shopping and movies are the only things that can take me away from an episode of grief. Jean was born on September 9, 1940 in Wabasha County to Arthur and Rachel (Kruger . I Lost My Mom 12 Years Ago. I relive it every day when I go to sleep when I wake up. But I realised life has to carry on. I dont want it and I envy those who die soon after their loved spouse passes. It reads like you loved very deeply and feel his loss keenly. Regardless she of 37 years marriage and 6 years of love prior is gone and so was I actually the day of diagnosis in June. I too have a friend that Ive known for over 40 years. He died in my arms. I dated soon after her death as someone that i would not have pursued asked me out. very low bounce rate I feel them close. That was the dilemma facing Americans who received $1,200 stimulus payments in 2020 by paper check or direct deposit, in the names of deceased spouses and other family members. Maybe its some physical thing. I feel hopeless and just want this horrible life to be over. I feel disconnected most of the time but I am getting glimpses of myself outside of grief or with making friends with my grief and my life. I cry everyday on and off. I always wonder if this normal. but it is quickly approaching. One day at a time. Well all be reunited with our loved ones one day. I hope we both find peace somehow, someday. You can use the IRS' Where's My Refund? Urban. He was my best friend as well as my Father. So many things bring tears and despaireven just going to the garage to get a tool reminds me of the dreams connected to those tools. Thank you all for sharing your stories of grief. Yes, the lack of interest in things, the TV watching, but you do say you have faith it will get easier. Routine has changed so much and thats hard for me because I felt lonley. I just dont want to do anything. Always butterflies. That said; allow others in. ========================. I am at the 16 month mark and it seems to be getting harder. I keep trying to get back into a life but I cry often. Im carrying my grief alone, with friends that will never understand the pain, and a sister that is suffering just as much as me. Eileen, I can relate to how you feel. Susan passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I lost my sister over 2 years ago and as you can see, Im up at 12 AM on a workday looking for some words of encouragement. This was without doubt the hardest thing Ive ever done. There is nobody you can really share the loss with, because the only other person with an equal stake in your life has gone along with all your plans and dreams. 14 months ago we were enjoying lunch together at home as we had for years. I lost my son 19 months ago and I dont believe I will ever get on with my life. She passed away August 2020 . I said no, Im still married. The second year was guilt as I moved further from her friends and family (honestly, we moved from each other). Ive come to realize that it never will. God bless you all and I wish the very bestnformyou. Never to be the same, never to fit into normal again. After a few months we started dating- the girls love him- I love him. Not my own plan. Why are you tormenting me like this?! Ive been around long enough and I dont really give a damn anymore about this earthly existence. Stay strong, watch the sunrise and the rainbows after the rain. Its bittersweet reading all the comments thinking Im only on my 2nd month and some took forever to move on. He left me 2 dogs, one pregnant one. Then type a formula like one of the following.

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